Being a Mom has opened a whole new world to me so I thought I would share the top ten things I never new before coming a Mom. They are:
10) Babies will really put things in the VCR. I always thought it was my Mom messing with me. Kaelyn's fingers get stuck at least twice a day.
9) Babies LOVE animals. The cats haven't been safe in year and it will only get worse.
8) A baby's cry has a special octave that will drive Mothers to insanity. Or at least to alcholism.
7) Empty paper towel rolls = hours of fun. Cheapest toy ever!
6) I can survive on 3 hours of sleep at a time. I am just a real bitch after. Just ask Mike.
5) Two door cars are the devil with a carseat. My back will never be the same.
4) Breastfeeding hurts. Marketing campaigns with the Mom looking lovingly at the baby while feeding are a big crock of shit. Her eyes are all teary because of the pain......not love.
3) Babies will throw things on the floor simply to watch you pick it up. This also equals hours of fun for baby.
2) Baby food is not that bad. The fruit puffs are my favorite. Wagon wheels are a close second.
And number one is..................
You will discuss your kids bowel movements with others......freely. Shape, size, texture, and frequency will all become dinner conversation. GROSS!